Junior Year (2015-2016)
A common theme I've noticed amongst social media this year, and even in life, is that people are really good at pretending that their lives are a non-stop jaunt of happiness, triumphs, success, and great events. I spent a lot of last year and this year comparing my life to the lives of those around me, and felt I could never quite measure up. This resulted in feelings of inadequacy, unhappiness, and general sadness, until one day I had a revelation when talking to friends that what I was seeing wasn't necessarily the truth, and that every single person, no matter how happy they portray themselves, was struggling in their own way. I realize that whoever is reading this right now is probably confused - how is this relevant to my year in review? To put it simply, college is difficult, and every can be filled with hardships, whether we admit it or not. I know how upsetting and alienating it can be to feel like you're the only one feeling such a way, and like everyone else is doing just fine. I don't want others to feel that way, which is why this year, I'm going to be extremely transparent in my experiences - both the good and the bad - to let anyone else who is struggling and reading this know that they are not alone. I could simply highlight all my positive and amazing experiences this year, and omit all my negative ones, but it just wouldn't be honest, and it certainly wouldn't help explain how I have grown as a person. With that being said, my third year was a mixture of incredible experiences and low points.
To be honest, I started this year at what I would consider a few steps above rock bottom. My self-esteem was at an all time low, I felt like I had no friends, and I had just gotten out of a housing situation where I lived with girls that would make Regina George from Mean Girls look kind-hearted, but I had hope that this year would start out better, and so it did. I moved apartments, changed roommates, and was already involved in being a Rho Gamma for sorority recruitment, which I loved with a passion that was difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't familiar with Greek Life.
Recruitment, the highlight and main event of being a Rho Gamma, went off without a hitch. I loved the women I led in my Rho Gamma group, and watching them find their forever homes was more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. One of them joined my own chapter and eventually became my second little. I am so proud to be her big and to watch her flourish still today. Because of the friends I made and the amazing experiences I had (like our Rho Gamma retreat and the late night Skyline runs) being in such a leadership role inspired me to pursue more leadership positions. At the time, I had no idea where, but I knew I would find my way at some point.
In November, we held our slating process for our sorority. I would be lying if I said I expected to receive a position - or even a nomination - but I was still deflated when I received nothing. In a world and at a school where your success is seemingly only defined by the number of exec positions on your resume, it can be disheartening to not get one. This was a pretty rough point for me in the school year. Many of my friends were on their exec boards of various other organizations, and I felt like I was a little left behind and uninvolved, despite my long list of involvement in other ways and organizations. Though disappointing and upsetting, this, along with the many elections I witnessed across organizations, served as a great lesson for me. Your success in school and life is not defined by your resume, or a long list of positions that you put on your Twitter bio. There are people who could fill a four page resume with their experiences, but whose actual leadership skills are nonexistent, and those who have never held a position who have the passion and drive to lead millions. When it comes down to it, in life sometimes politics and your name are what matter more than your qualifications. Not everything will be fair, and that's okay - it's something we will deal with repeatedly in our lives.
At this same time, I also found out that the Occupational Therapy program would be pushed back another year, with an estimated start date of the summer of 2018. When I started in the program originally, I was told that it would begin in 2016. Two years later was quite a different start date than anticipated. My options were pretty limited - OT is not a very prominent program, with very few in the immediate area (compared to others). I could finish undergrad and attend a different school for my Masters, or I could stay an extra semester at UC, work in the spring, and attend UC's OT program in the summer. Because of my desire to stay in Cincinnati, I chose the latter. At first it was frustrating, all the delays, but I have since come to terms with it.
In January, I traveled to Cabezas de San Juan, Puerto Rico on a Serve Beyond Cincinnati trip that focused on environmental sustainability. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and it is by far the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I learned so many cool things while on the trip about PR that I didn't know before - about their culture, their economy, and even their environment. While there, we had the unique experience to call Puerto Rico's oldest standing lighthouse our home for a week. It stood on top of a hill overlooking the ocean and the island, with an incredible view. From our lighthouse, you could see the island where a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed, and even a very faint St. Thomas in the distance! At night, when on top of the deck, you could see a picture perfect view of all the stars. Never in my life have I ever seen so many stars like I did there! No pictures I took did it justice. Our work there consisted of a few things, like taking care of a garden area on the nature reserve we stayed on, and visiting El Hospital del Niño, a children's hospital in downtown San Juan where sick children whose parents could not take care of them stayed. At the hospital, we got the chance to interact and play with all the kids who were healthy enough to be around us. At the end of the week, they told us that they didn't want us to leave, and I teared up. They taught me to be thankful. I am extremely blessed to be healthy, able-bodied, in school, and to have a family that can afford to take care of me, yet sometimes I still consider myself unhappy, while these children - some who have literally nothing - could not be happier to have an hour to play around in a small room with old toys. In addition to our hard work, we also had a couple of cool tourist-y experiences. We kayaked through a river to The Bioluminescent Bay, a small lake illuminated at night by dinoflagellates who light up the water when they feel threatened, swam in a waterfall in El Yunque Rainforest, visited Old San Juan, and also went on a catamaran snorkeling trip to Palomino Island.
The rest of the school year passed by without many events or too much excitement. I excelled in both my fall and spring classes, watched my second little get initiated, and participated in UCDM, just to name a few, but overall, it was a very slow spring, save for a couple of exciting accomplishments, and one devastating event.
In March, I was chosen to be a Co-Rho Gamma Director for Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment, the director of those in the position I had held in the fall. I was elated. I have always been passionate about recruitment and helping others find their home, so to be in charge of helping people do so was a dream. Throughout the trials and challenges that the spring brought for the position, I still remained in love with it, and still am today. I cannot wait for the fall and for my position to become even more in-depth.
Finally, in April, following my sorority formal, my boyfriend took me to Bellevue Park overlooking Cincinnati, where he lavaliered me with his fraternity letters. Lavaliering is an act of making a greater commitment to your significant other - you open up your Greek membership to another person, and promise a long-term commitment to them. It's a way for a man in a fraternity to show how much he values his relationship, and allows me to wear his letters. Lavaliering is typically considered a "pre-engagement". There are no words to describe how excited I was when it happened. I am so proud to be able to wear his letters, and my candlelight ceremony to reveal that I was lavaliered to my chapter was one of my favorite college moments.
A few weeks after I was lavaliered and a week before finals, my grandpa suddenly passed away. He was my first grandparent to pass away, and it was devastating and heartbreaking. I didn't know how I was going to make it through my last week of classes, or even through finals, but I did it with the knowledge that my grandpa was always so proud of how much I succeeded in school. I surrounded myself with friends and family in my grief, and somehow with their help, I was able to make it through the year. I still miss him and think about him daily, but knowing he is no longer in pain and in a better place comforts me.
Overall, I had a great junior year. While there were a few moments where I felt knocked to the ground, I always got back up and conquered whatever it was that came next. I learned so much this past year, and have grown so much professionally, emotionally, and academically. Though next year will not be my final year, I can't wait to see the person that I will become next year, and the experiences that my 4th year will bring. I am glad to be able to stay - I don't think my love of being a UC Bearcat will ever make it easy to leave!
To be honest, I started this year at what I would consider a few steps above rock bottom. My self-esteem was at an all time low, I felt like I had no friends, and I had just gotten out of a housing situation where I lived with girls that would make Regina George from Mean Girls look kind-hearted, but I had hope that this year would start out better, and so it did. I moved apartments, changed roommates, and was already involved in being a Rho Gamma for sorority recruitment, which I loved with a passion that was difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't familiar with Greek Life.
Recruitment, the highlight and main event of being a Rho Gamma, went off without a hitch. I loved the women I led in my Rho Gamma group, and watching them find their forever homes was more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. One of them joined my own chapter and eventually became my second little. I am so proud to be her big and to watch her flourish still today. Because of the friends I made and the amazing experiences I had (like our Rho Gamma retreat and the late night Skyline runs) being in such a leadership role inspired me to pursue more leadership positions. At the time, I had no idea where, but I knew I would find my way at some point.
In November, we held our slating process for our sorority. I would be lying if I said I expected to receive a position - or even a nomination - but I was still deflated when I received nothing. In a world and at a school where your success is seemingly only defined by the number of exec positions on your resume, it can be disheartening to not get one. This was a pretty rough point for me in the school year. Many of my friends were on their exec boards of various other organizations, and I felt like I was a little left behind and uninvolved, despite my long list of involvement in other ways and organizations. Though disappointing and upsetting, this, along with the many elections I witnessed across organizations, served as a great lesson for me. Your success in school and life is not defined by your resume, or a long list of positions that you put on your Twitter bio. There are people who could fill a four page resume with their experiences, but whose actual leadership skills are nonexistent, and those who have never held a position who have the passion and drive to lead millions. When it comes down to it, in life sometimes politics and your name are what matter more than your qualifications. Not everything will be fair, and that's okay - it's something we will deal with repeatedly in our lives.
At this same time, I also found out that the Occupational Therapy program would be pushed back another year, with an estimated start date of the summer of 2018. When I started in the program originally, I was told that it would begin in 2016. Two years later was quite a different start date than anticipated. My options were pretty limited - OT is not a very prominent program, with very few in the immediate area (compared to others). I could finish undergrad and attend a different school for my Masters, or I could stay an extra semester at UC, work in the spring, and attend UC's OT program in the summer. Because of my desire to stay in Cincinnati, I chose the latter. At first it was frustrating, all the delays, but I have since come to terms with it.
In January, I traveled to Cabezas de San Juan, Puerto Rico on a Serve Beyond Cincinnati trip that focused on environmental sustainability. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and it is by far the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I learned so many cool things while on the trip about PR that I didn't know before - about their culture, their economy, and even their environment. While there, we had the unique experience to call Puerto Rico's oldest standing lighthouse our home for a week. It stood on top of a hill overlooking the ocean and the island, with an incredible view. From our lighthouse, you could see the island where a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed, and even a very faint St. Thomas in the distance! At night, when on top of the deck, you could see a picture perfect view of all the stars. Never in my life have I ever seen so many stars like I did there! No pictures I took did it justice. Our work there consisted of a few things, like taking care of a garden area on the nature reserve we stayed on, and visiting El Hospital del Niño, a children's hospital in downtown San Juan where sick children whose parents could not take care of them stayed. At the hospital, we got the chance to interact and play with all the kids who were healthy enough to be around us. At the end of the week, they told us that they didn't want us to leave, and I teared up. They taught me to be thankful. I am extremely blessed to be healthy, able-bodied, in school, and to have a family that can afford to take care of me, yet sometimes I still consider myself unhappy, while these children - some who have literally nothing - could not be happier to have an hour to play around in a small room with old toys. In addition to our hard work, we also had a couple of cool tourist-y experiences. We kayaked through a river to The Bioluminescent Bay, a small lake illuminated at night by dinoflagellates who light up the water when they feel threatened, swam in a waterfall in El Yunque Rainforest, visited Old San Juan, and also went on a catamaran snorkeling trip to Palomino Island.
The rest of the school year passed by without many events or too much excitement. I excelled in both my fall and spring classes, watched my second little get initiated, and participated in UCDM, just to name a few, but overall, it was a very slow spring, save for a couple of exciting accomplishments, and one devastating event.
In March, I was chosen to be a Co-Rho Gamma Director for Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment, the director of those in the position I had held in the fall. I was elated. I have always been passionate about recruitment and helping others find their home, so to be in charge of helping people do so was a dream. Throughout the trials and challenges that the spring brought for the position, I still remained in love with it, and still am today. I cannot wait for the fall and for my position to become even more in-depth.
Finally, in April, following my sorority formal, my boyfriend took me to Bellevue Park overlooking Cincinnati, where he lavaliered me with his fraternity letters. Lavaliering is an act of making a greater commitment to your significant other - you open up your Greek membership to another person, and promise a long-term commitment to them. It's a way for a man in a fraternity to show how much he values his relationship, and allows me to wear his letters. Lavaliering is typically considered a "pre-engagement". There are no words to describe how excited I was when it happened. I am so proud to be able to wear his letters, and my candlelight ceremony to reveal that I was lavaliered to my chapter was one of my favorite college moments.
A few weeks after I was lavaliered and a week before finals, my grandpa suddenly passed away. He was my first grandparent to pass away, and it was devastating and heartbreaking. I didn't know how I was going to make it through my last week of classes, or even through finals, but I did it with the knowledge that my grandpa was always so proud of how much I succeeded in school. I surrounded myself with friends and family in my grief, and somehow with their help, I was able to make it through the year. I still miss him and think about him daily, but knowing he is no longer in pain and in a better place comforts me.
Overall, I had a great junior year. While there were a few moments where I felt knocked to the ground, I always got back up and conquered whatever it was that came next. I learned so much this past year, and have grown so much professionally, emotionally, and academically. Though next year will not be my final year, I can't wait to see the person that I will become next year, and the experiences that my 4th year will bring. I am glad to be able to stay - I don't think my love of being a UC Bearcat will ever make it easy to leave!